


Alone & Lonely

by macosa



Category: Mumintroll | Moomins Series - Tove Jansson
Genre: Gen, Not beta'd we die like men, shameless fluff, snufkin is a bit of an anxious child
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-04
Updated: 2019-07-04
Packaged: 2020-06-03 21:55:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19472980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/macosa/pseuds/macosa
Summary: The Joxter tries to make up for lost time with his son.Snufkin is not always happy about it, but the two of them come to an agreement.





	Alone & Lonely

Snufkin is awaken by the smell of cooked fish.

“Good morning, kitten”, greets the voice of his father once he puts his nose outside the tent. “Did you sleep well?”

“M’ fine”, Snufkin mumbles, not even looking at the fish. He goes to check his backpack, and finds his rod is still there. Father did have a tendency to boast about his fishing abilities with his bare paws.

“Come on, kitten, take a seat”, the Joxter says. “Having breakfast is important, or you won’t have the strenght to do anything else”

“I know”, Snufkin says, flatly and he seats down somewhat reclutantly. Joxter sits a few feet away and handles him a fish.

The smell makes his mouth water despite himself.

“I could have done this by myself”, he whispers. Father hears him anyway.

“I know, kitten”

“Sorry”, Snufkin says, noticing the slightly hurt tone in his Father’s voice. “It’s just… I’m used to do everything by myself”

There’s a slight uncomfortable pause between them. Oh, no, thinks Snufkin. He made things awkward.

“I know”, the Joxter then says. “I’d like to make up for lost time, if you let me”

Snufkin ponders. He was overjoyed at meeting his dad, and he does find him an agreeable person and a worthy mentor, but…

“I just… Like to be on my own sometimes”. He hopes he hasn’t offended his Father again.

Yet, the Joxter laughs.

At Snufkin’s surprised look, he only says “I’m the same, you know”.

_I like to be alone too, so I won’t force my presence if you don’t want it. But I also love to spend some time with my family and friends sometimes._

_Part of the year I spend walking around the world, but the next part I just like to stay at home with your mother and siblings. And I like to visit my friends, from time to time._

_I do love them very much, as I love you._

_I like to be alone, but that doesn’t mean I like to be lonely._

Yes, thinks Snufkin, I think I understand. The image of his parents spending part of the year together overlaps with the image of himself spending it with Moomintroll. His heart flutters a little.

“I want to stay with you, just not… always”, he tells his dad. “Is that ok?”

“Of course, kitten”, the Joxter replies.

“But do you always want to spend time with me? All the time?”

“Yes”

“Then I’m being selfish”, Snufking lowers his hat on his eyes. “I shouldn’t stop you from visiting whenever you want”

Another laugh from the Joxter.

“Not at all, kitten! See, I think it’s normal for a parent to love their children always and wanting to be with them, but also it’s normal for children to get sick of their parents and wanting to be left alone! You can call me whenever you want and I’ll be there in no time. Since I’ve met you, I’m never far away from you, I promise…”

He stops, maybe realizing he said something that could threaten his child’s privacy.

“Of course, not always _always_. I like to stay with your mom in the winter. And you’re welcome to come by if you’d like, sometimes, and leave immediately after if you so desire”

It’s Snufkin’s turn to laugh.

  
  
“Ok! Then, you’re allowed to come to my camp everytime you want, even if I didn’t call you first. Even if I’m in a grouchy mood, I’ll swallow it. I always end up laughing with you anyway”

“Aw, kitten, if you really don’t want me around that day, just say it”, Father says. “I won’t be hurt, I promise”

“Ok”

But another thought comes to Snufkin.

Oh, no, I’m being selfish again, he thinks. But his dad’s warm eyes invite him to voice his thoughts withtout anxiety.

“What do I do when, in winter, I feel lonely but I don’t feel like coming to you? Yet I want to talk to you anyway”

Joxter stays in thought, genuinely considering what his son said, not making fun of it.

_Tell you what._

_Let’s go together to the Hobgoblin, he will know how to help us._

_Let’s make him enchant the my shark tooth that Moominpappa gave you._

_I’ll make him enchant something dear to me too._

_Let’s make it so that you can whisper to it whenever you want and I can hear you, no matter where you are, and I can answer back._

_So even in the cold winter night, when you only want to hear a voice, we can talk to each other. I’ll let you talk to mom and your siblings too!_

_And if you do end up wanting me by your side even then, it won’t be a problem._

_I’ll pack your Mother’s most delicious sweets and bring them to you in no time!_

_A parent should never lose track of his children._

_I won’t make the same mistake again._

And so they did that, and Snufkin began to travel with the shark tooth in a pendant under his vest.

Most of the time, he paid it no mind, forgetting it was even there. He lived freely like he had always done: enjoying his time alone, having fun with his friends, staying with Moomin and breathing in the sweet scent of his fur, fishing with his dad…

But when the winter storm raged outside his tent and he felt his heart heavy like a stone, he talked to Father through the pendant and shed the warm tears he had proudly tried to keep inside as the Joxter’s whispered the words of an old, forgotten song and lulled him to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this!  
> I hope there weren't any mistakes.


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